So, as a guy who has sat through countless venting sessions with my female friends about their dating app adventures, let me just say: itâs wild out there. I thought the male experience on dating apps was tough (the rejections, the ghosting, the constant battle to stand out), but it turns out, the female experience is like stepping into a circus where half the performers are justâŚbad at being human.
Allow me to present the highlights of what Iâve learned about the joys of being a woman on dating apps.
The âBody Count Braggerâ
Picture this: My friend matches with a guy who seems normal enough. His profile is decent, no shirtless mirror selfies (a low bar, but hey, progress), and he even uses punctuation in his bio. Then, they start chatting.
Him: âHey, howâs it going?â
Her: âGood! You?â
Him: âPretty great. Iâve been with 23 women, by the way. Iâve really grown since then.â
Now, Iâm sitting there as she tells me this, trying to make sense of it. Is this a flex? A confession? A game of âGuess How Many Times Iâve Been Ghostedâ? Honestly, guys, who told you this was a thing? No woman I know is out here thinking, âWow, the more women heâs slept with, the more I want to date him!â
Pro tip: Unless someone specifically asks about your âbody count,â keep it to yourself. Sharing it unsolicited is like announcing your high score in a video game no oneâs playing.
The âToo Straightforward for His Own Goodâ
Now, Iâm all for being direct. In fact, women often complain that guys are too vague about their intentions. But thereâs a fine line between being upfront and coming off like a dude in a trench coat asking, âWanna see something?â
Case in point:
Him: âHey, youâre cute. Want to meet up tonight?â
Her: âThanks! Iâm not free tonight, though. Maybe later this week?â
Him: âI was hoping we could, you know, have some fun tonight đ.â
Bro. BRO. First of all, what happened to basic human decency? Second, who thinks this actually works? From what Iâve gathered, this type of approach is about as appealing as stepping on a Lego barefoot. Itâs not the confidenceâitâs the sheer lack of respect.
The âWannabe Philosopherâ
Ah, yes. The guy who thinks heâs profound because he listens to a podcast or two. Heâs here to ask lifeâs deepest questionsâŚon a dating app.
Him: âWhatâs your biggest regret in life?â
Her: âSwiping right on you.â
Look, I get it. Youâre trying to stand out from the crowd. But asking someone to unpack their emotional baggage before youâve even exchanged favorite movies? Itâs a hard no. Guys, letâs keep it light. Ask her about her favorite pizza toppings or whether sheâs a dog or cat person. Save the existential crises for date fiveâor never.
The âUnicornâ
Now, to be fair, not all guys are disasters on dating apps. My female friends tell me stories about the rare gems theyâve encounteredâthe ones who are respectful, thoughtful, and genuinely interested in getting to know them. They ask good questions, plan creative dates, and donât act like theyâre auditioning for a reality show called Douchebags of Bumble.
But these men are like spotting Bigfoot: You hear they exist, but youâre never quite sure if itâs a myth. And even when they show up, thereâs always the question of, âWill he vanish after three days?â (Spoiler: sometimes, yes.)
The Survival Guide for Guys
So, whatâs the takeaway here? How can us men stop being the source of screenshots sent to group chats everywhere? Let me break it down:
1. Ditch the Ego: Bragging about your âbody countâ is not impressiveâitâs cringey. If a woman wants to know, sheâll ask (and even then, tread carefully).
2. Be Direct, But Respectful: Want to ask her out? Great. But donât make it sound like a transactional proposition. Women appreciate honesty, not entitlement.
3. Keep It Fun: Nobody wants to unpack their childhood trauma in the first conversation. Start with something simple and engaging.
4. Read the Room: If sheâs giving short answers or seems uninterested, donât push it.
Not every match is meant to be.
Ladies, Youâre Saints
Honestly, after hearing these stories, Iâve got a newfound respect for the patience women have. The way they wade through the sea of awkward openers, unsolicited brags, and way-too-forward messages is nothing short of heroic. And despite it all, they still hold out hope for that one normal, decent, and (hopefully) punctuation-using guy.
So, hereâs to the women who keep swiping, keep laughing, and keep calling us out when we screw up. And to my fellow guys: Letâs do better. The bar is already lowâletâs not trip over it.
True ! There are variety of guys on social platforms. To be honest, I myself have tried many like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge & Aisle. And apart from these Braggers, Philosophers, Egoistic etc. I have also encountered guys having some kinda fetish (mostly feet-fetish), loaded with superiority complex and also some of them wanted me to deliberately dominate them which I understood so that later on they can accuse me of it. Total narcissist. I was really pissed on many occasions and deleted the account.
ReplyDeleteBut then finally I found a person who was not only a gentleman but also loved to listen me without any judgements. Yeah he does annoys me sometimes but its only temporary.
Actually, the thing is, it doesnât matter whether you get a date/life-partner over there or not but you must have a person in your life with whom you can share your thoughts/opinions without having a fear of judgements, which thankfully I got one.
Wow, your experiences in itself can be logged as best seller books. It's like a platter where there would be unwanted items but in the end there is 1 dish which make you fall in love with it. And I totally agree with your opinion that having 1 person without the fear of judgment is enough.
ReplyDeleteI went through the same thing and uninstalled the app in just 15 days. I was very frustrated with the men (not to be called men actually) on the dating apps. It gave me the impression that in the present time, individuals are fixated solely on intimate relationships, thinking the other person is there only for their own needs.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly happens usually Men are looking for some sexual favors often lying about their actual status (married or not?) and recently females are scamming such lurky men with exaggerated cafe expenditure. Truth to be told no1 is safe and you should avoid it altogether.
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