🧍🏽♂️ Indian Men and the Art of Not Crying
If you’re a desi man and you cried recently, congratulations. You’re a statistical anomaly, a psychological rebel, and possibly a national threat to WhatsApp uncles everywhere.
Because here’s the thing — Indian men don’t cry. They lift heavier, scroll Zomato at 2AM, and pretend they’re “chilling” while their emotional life is collapsing like a badly constructed flyover in monsoon season.
No one taught them to cry. But everyone taught them how to suppress it. Through gym memes, productivity hacks, “be a man” dad quotes, and mummy’s daal chawal therapy.
So here’s a blog for all the Indian men who think crying is weakness — but also low-key panic when their Swiggy cart total says ₹652 for one person.
Also, bro, why are you ordering cake, biryani, and cold coffee at the same time? What are you really trying to digest?
🍛 The Biryani of Sadness: Coping, Not Healing
A breakup? A job rejection? Another friend getting married while you're still “focusing on your career”?
No worries. Order biryani.
Or maybe momos. Or a sugar-loaded cheesecake that reminds you of your last situationship.
And do it silently, like a secret shame — as if calories are okay, but crying isn’t.
This isn’t emotional regulation.
This is emotional substitution with saffron rice.
Because therapy costs ₹1,500/hour. But butter chicken is ₹249 and delivers in 28 minutes.
And somewhere deep down, you hope the Zomato delivery guy doesn’t judge you for ordering three gulab jamuns at 1:43AM.
💪🏽 Crying is for Losers. Bench Press the Pain Instead.
The gym is the last socially accepted grief center for Indian men.
You don’t cry — you lift.
You don’t talk — you shout “ONE MORE REP BRO” loud enough to make up for your emotional repression.
Chest day? It's never just about muscle. It’s about pushing through heartbreak, academic failure, LinkedIn rejection mails, and the fact that your crush just got engaged to a dentist in the US.
You won't journal, but you'll do 5 sets of squats with Ranjha or Kesariya playing in your ears.
Because nothing screams healing like Punjabi heartbreak lyrics over PR attempts.
Pain becomes productivity. Emotions become macros.
And grief becomes gains.
🤐 What Happens When Boys Are Told to “Man Up”
Remember childhood?
-
Fell down? “Mard ban, ro mat.”
-
Bullied? “Fight back, don’t cry.”
-
Heartbroken? “Girls come and go. Focus on your goals.”
-
Feeling anything at all? “Beta, have some tea.” (Masala chai heals all, apparently)
By the time he turns 25, the average Indian man has a PhD in emotional suppression and a minor in quiet breakdowns.
He doesn’t say “I’m sad.”
He says, “Chal na, let’s go for a drive.”
He’s never been taught to name feelings — only to bury them under CA prep, gym progress pics, or that “no distractions” wallpaper on his phone.
And no, bro, switching to grayscale mode isn’t therapy.
💬 The Emotional Vocabulary of Indian Men is a Meme
Most desi men don’t say:
-
“I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
-
“I’m struggling with expectations.”
-
“I need to process this pain.”
They say:
-
“Bro, scene tight hai.”
-
“Thoda off chal raha hai.”
-
“Kya hi bolun.”
Because real language sounds too real.
So they use slang, silence, or sarcasm. Sometimes all three.
And the women around them? Either confused, or emotionally fried from being unpaid translators for repressed feelings.
(Related read: Mental Load is Killing Indian Women)
📱Zomato, Tinder, Gym, Insta: The Four Horsemen of Male Coping
Instead of crying, Indian men...
-
Order food: Comfort eating without naming the emotion.
-
Hit the gym: Pump iron, not tears.
-
Swipe on dating apps: Replace pain with distraction.
-
Post gym selfies: Caption: “Healing.” Reality: internal screaming.
Somewhere in between, they throw in a story with a dark filter and a Hindi quote they don't fully understand.
Bonus if it's an old Gulzar lyric or Shayari copied from Pinterest.
🛑 But Where Does It Go?
That uncried sadness?
That grief over your dad’s silence, your friend’s betrayal, your burnout, your breakup?
It goes somewhere. It becomes:
-
Hyper-productivity
-
Mood swings
-
Passive-aggression
-
Silent comparison with your IIT batchmates
-
Ghosting people when you're actually the one hurting
-
That sharp 3AM ache with no words, just scrolling food vlogs and feeling... hungry? Empty? Not sure?
It breaks your ability to receive love — because you were never taught how to ask for it.
And then when someone finally loves you deeply, it feels like a threat. Because no one’s ever loved you without making you earn it.
📉 Why This Hurts More Than You Think
Repressed sadness doesn’t disappear. It just leaks sideways:
-
Into emotionally one-sided relationships
-
Into friendships that feel fun but hollow
-
Into family WhatsApp groups where no one ever says “I miss you” — just “have you paid the bill?”
-
Into that quiet rage when someone says “Are you okay?” and you reply, “Of course, why wouldn't I be?”
Crying isn't weak. It's a nervous system release.
You don't need to be strong all the time. You need to be safe.
🧠 The Psychology Behind It (Quick Science Snack)
Psychologist Niobe Way’s research on boys in America — echoed in India’s toxic masculinity context — shows that young boys are emotionally expressive until society tells them not to be.
Over time, they lose not just emotional expression, but emotional capacity.
Crying isn’t weakness. It’s emotional regulation.
Without it, you're a pressure cooker without a whistle. And that doesn’t end well. Especially not in an Indian joint family.
🤖 The “Strong, Silent Type” Is Outdated
Let’s be honest — the whole “alpha male” thing is crumbling.
From Bollywood to the boardroom, the emotionally repressed tough guy is more meme than role model now.
Your dad didn’t cry because he couldn’t.
You’re not crying because you won’t.
One is tragedy.
The other is choice.
You can lift weights and cry. You can journal and play cricket. You can have feelings and a beard.
You can break down — and still build yourself up.
🛠️ So What Can Desi Men Do Instead of Zomato Therapy?
-
Talk to friends — about real stuff.
Not just “Rate this girl out of 10.” -
Name the feeling.
Not just “meh.” Try sad. Lonely. Guilty. Regretful. That’s where healing begins. -
Let yourself cry.
If Shah Rukh Khan can cry in Kal Ho Na Ho and still be cool, so can you. -
Stop dating to heal.
Nobody deserves to be your rebound, redemption, or romantic crutch. -
Get therapy — or at least try.
If you can spend ₹1,000 on whey protein, you can spend ₹1,000 on your brain.
Also: protein won’t solve your daddy issues.
🧵 Closing Thought: Not Crying Isn’t Strength — It’s Scar Tissue
The strongest desi men aren’t the ones who never cry.
They’re the ones who survived systems that never let them.
But surviving isn’t the goal anymore. Healing is.
And healing sometimes means doing something wild — like feeling stuff... out loud.
So yes, open Zomato at 2AM if you want.
But maybe also open up to someone.
And no, bro — “scene tight” is not an emotion.
